"They could never find our secret hiding spot where we play all day."

I was all set to write this big complaint post about a coworker who always whines about having no money, yet she smokes pot 24/7, uses her EBT card to buy energy drinks, and has about 87 pets. I ended up finding a much better topic, but I thought I'd still make you this awesome collage to further paint the picture of what a piece of crap this girl really is.

This is obviously not the coworker, just in case anyone thinks that I work with Paris Hilton.

Moving on. The sister and I were watching some TV show a little while ago that featured a house with a secret passageway.

Jessie: I always wanted a house with a secret passageway.
Me: Who didn't?
Jessie: Uh... I still want a house with a secret passageway.
Me: Who doesn't?

And honestly, who doesn't? I posed the question on Tumblr and received a link to the coolest website in the history of websites.  My gosh, if I had the money I would equip my hypothetical house with so many of those bad boys. I think part of the appeal of secret passageways is that they make us feel like a kid again. (That, and if anyone ever broke into our home, we'd have the ultimate hiding/not dying spot.) Just thinking about it makes me all giddy. Imagine all of the fun you could have and the massive pranks you could play! I would make it my mission to scare the crap out of someone at least once daily.

So what are some other things that get you feeling nostalgic? Forts, wanting to spend an unsupervised night in a department store, enduring the fierce burn of a Big Red wrapper stuck to your forehead...


30 DAY MUSIC CHALLENGE
Click here to see the entire list.

Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love:

I asked my mom about this one because I honestly don't think anyone would not expect me to like a certain band or genre of music. I swear, even if it's something I'd normally hate, there's more than likely at least one song I can find that I like. She, for some reason, can not believe that I like Disturbed. I like rock, there's no excessive growling or screaming (which I generally detest (unless it's used tastefully, aka sparingly)), the lead singer doesn't suck... I don't know. Anyway, I've loved Disturbed since high school and will most likely continue to love Disturbed as long as they keep coming out with awesome music. Here is the song that jump-started my adoration:

"You don't really know why, but you want to justify ripping someone's head off."

The little sister has been giving me crap for the way I scowl while I'm on the computer (I need to turn the screen brightness down), so picture me looking like this while I wrote this post...

I showed her this picture and she said that I pretty much look exactly like this. Awesome.

A lot of things have gotten under my skin today, for no apparent reason, so I thought I'd write them all down and possibly find some common denominator.

I awoke to a text from a friend/coworker asking if I would work her shift today and she would work mine on Sunday. I abhor working Sundays so I was seriously considering it. Then I realized that I only had 30 minutes to get ready, and I would be stuck there until 10 tonight. The latest I ever work is 8, so the more I thought about it, the less appealing it sounded. I neglected to text her back and went about my day. About 45 minutes later, she texted me again asking if I would please work for her because she had been puking all day. (We're a very small business, so if one person is sick they have to find a replacement to work for them. If it's a dire situation, though, the boss will take over the shift.) By this time I had gotten a text from another friend asking if I wanted to do something tonight. The perfect excuse. Maybe I was being a jerk, but this friend/coworker is pretty good at wanting you to help her out with her shifts, but not being there when you need something. Actually, she's pretty much like that in general, and I have not been in the mood to put up with any BS lately. I know that come Sunday I'll be kicking myself for not working tonight, but I'm just so sick of being taken advantage of. The real kicker is that she's been talking on Facebook all night about the ski trip that she's attending tomorrow. Is it horrible of me to hope that she spends the entire weekend on the toilet instead of on the slopes?? (That is, if she is indeed sick. I get the feeling she just wanted the night off so she could prepare for the weekend.)

The next few hours were spent interneting and watching TV with the sisters. It became a bit monotonous over time (One can only watch so much Miami Animal Police in such a small period of time), but nothing real awful. Overall, it was bearable.

A little while later I received a text from my mom's best friend. She proceeded to text me for 10 minutes asking where my mom was, and if we minded if she came over. Not a big deal. She brought her son along, which also wasn't a big deal. UNTIL... I got up to go to the bathroom and he told me that he was stealing my seat until I came back. When I returned he not only made no effort to get up, but was also using my laptop. I had tabs with my Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr open, all things that I consider pretty private when it comes to people I actually know. (Well, obviously not Facebook, but I hate the prospect of someone posting something random on my wall. I'm kind of particular about the things I share online. I make an attempt to be fairly inoffensive, so I don't want anything put on blast without my approval. It's happened before, and I felt strangely violated.) (Man, that was a long parenthetical aside.) I noticed that he and the little sister were just sharing YouTube videos so I figured all was ok. Then I saw this...

This is clearly not offensive, but it meant that he was looking at the pages I had pulled up. I feel like someone read my nonexistent diary or something. 

Random interjection: This happened in the midst of all this crap...

The actor was pretending her food stamp card wasn't working and people were stepping in and paying for her groceries. So awesome, and so tear-inducing.

Around this time, the aforementioned friend I had made plans with came over to chill and watch a movie. This friend tends to be a bit insanely clingy, so I'm generally on edge around her. She does this thing when we watch movies that irritates me beyond words. Every time something funny happens, she insists on looking right at me and laughing. Ok, we're watching the same movie. I saw it. I'd say it's as bad as when people say "DID YOU SEE THAT?!" but it's actually worse because I have this weird phobia of people staring at me. Well, maybe not a phobia, but it makes me ultra uncomfortable. We were sitting directly beside each other tonight, though, so I was super stoked about not having to pretend I couldn't see her every time she looked at me. (That's what I do. Ignore it and it will go away, right?) What ended up unfolding, though, was entirely too horrific. Instead of enduring awkward gazes every time something funny happened, she did that weird "lightly smack you with the back of my hand" thing. The movie we were watching was hilarious, so I ended up just getting smacked repeatedly for an hour and a half.

I let my dad use my laptop while we watched the movie, and assumed he'd give it back once it was over. (There I go, assuming again. Maybe that's the common denominator in this all!) Instead, he stayed on for 2 more hours while I sat on the couch and silently stewed. At one point I tried asking for it back and he shot out some whiny excuse about how he was almost done, and he just NEEDED to look at a few more things... Whatever. I don't care. I sat on my butt for 7 hours waiting for the stupid thing, and I think I should be able to use it whenever I darn well please.

In the mean time, I did some Twittering and received some of the sweetest tweets ever. After a moment of heart melting and cheesy grins, I got kind of depressed. People online, people I barely know, treat me better than the majority of people that are actually in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything, but living at home means I'm subjected to many more annoying family moments than the average twenty-something. I'd rely on my friends to save my sanity, but I've eliminated most of them from my life since they royally sucked. The few true friends I do have I rarely see. Moments like these make me realize how much I truly need to save up my cash and get the eff out of this town. Sorry, this just took a major turn toward depression city. I'll stop babbling now.

So what do you think? Am I being ultra sensitive to everything, or do people just generally suck?

Also, if you stuck it out all the way through this, you deserve a cookie and a massive bear hug.

"You make me sick, I want you and I'm hatin' it."

I don't get to see my mom very often (she works 3rd shift and sleeps all day) so I like to go grocery shopping with her every week, partaking in a little mother/daughter bonding time. I was especially excited to go today because, instead of going to Walmart like she usually does, she went to our local grocery store. Our local grocery store has the BEST fresh doughnuts.

When we got back from shopping, I found the doughnut, poured myself a short glass (I'm lactose intolerant) of milk, and got down to business. I know what you're thinking... "Why are you drinking milk if you're lactose intolerant??" I absolutely can not eat something sweet without having milk to wash it down, even if it's just something like a candy bar. It's a trait I've inherited from my dad. Plus, I'm just fond of dairy products, in general. As long as I consume it in moderation, I'm usually ok. Maybe a small amount of discomfort, but usually ok. Today, on the other hand, made me want to die.

As a result, my entire day was ruined. Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but I've certainly had better days. I finished my glass of death and decided to go back to bed until it was time to get up for work. I assumed that I would have gotten plenty of sleep and would wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. Again. Instead, I slept miserably and woke up feeling even more exhausted than I did in the first place. Exhaustion = Grumpy McAngry Pants = bad night at work. Everyone and everything got on my nerves, leaving me in a state similar to this...

I'm pulling my hair out, just in case you thought that might be a set of mini pigtails.  I also tried to be a little more true to my (lack of) skin pigment with this picture. It's still a bit too dark.

Luckily, I came home to my sister inviting me to accompany her tomorrow while she gets her second tattoo. I'm pretty stoked about it. If I can't afford another of my own, I might as well live vicariously though her. And we always have an awesome time on our outings, you know, since we're twinners separated at birth and everything.

30 DAY MUSIC CHALLENGE
Click here to see the entire list.

Day 12 - A song from a band you hate:

This is pretty hard for me since there isn't much that I hate when it comes to music. There are some bands that I don't love, but I can tolerate most.  There is one band, though, that makes me want to vomit every time I hear them. Steely Dan. I EFFING HATE STEELY DAN. My dad adores Steely Dan and constantly listens to them, as my disgust grows with each passing second. As hard as this is for me to admit, they do have one song that I don't mind, but it's slightly easier to come to terms with because for years I thought it was Santana. So here it is. Enjoy. Or don't. Trust me, I won't be heartbroken.

"Take this job and shove it!"

First and foremost, I AM SO HAPPY TO BE BLOGGING AGAIN! My sister had the only actual computer in our house and it was loaded with viruses so she didn't want anyone using it anymore. Then the neighbor put a password on her wi-fi that we were stealing borrowing, so then I really couldn't do any blogging. Christmas came around, though, and I got my laptop that I waited an eternity for, and all is right with the world again. Well, kind of... I got to work tonight and about had a heart attack.

For the past several months I've only been getting scheduled two days a week. It sucks. I make just enough to pay my bills. I've been holding out, though, because #1 I live in a tiny town with zero job opportunities, #2 I don't have a vehicle to find a job in any surrounding towns, and #3 One of my coworkers was supposed to be moving so I figured I'd pick up more hours when she left. I guess she still plans on moving, but it's been slightly postponed. Yay for me. Now the boss apparently decided that we needed another worker and she's taking one of my two days a week, leaving me with one day a week. ONE DAY. It's mindblowing.

I don't go above and beyond and work my butt off,

I certainly wouldn't want something like this to happen.

 but I do my job and I do it well. If he's dissatisfied with my performance then he needs to get a backbone and just fire me. If that's not the case, then he needs to grow a brain and realize that a person cannot survive off of four hours a week. Oh, what's that? I didn't mention that I only work four hour shifts? I only work four hour shifts. I hate to admit it, but I've been thinking tonight that I might try to get a job at Mickey D's.



It's most definitely not my first, second, or forty-eighth choice, but I have to do something. Four hours a week on minimum wage is not going to cut it. Oh my goodness, I am going to be stuck in my parents' basement for the rest of my miserable life. Lord, help me now. Ask and it shall be given, right??


30 DAY MUSIC CHALLENGE
Click here to see the entire list.

Day 7 - A song that reminds you of a certain event:

When I graduated my best friend (at the time, but that's a story for another day) and I sang I Hope You Dance by Leann Womack while another classmate accompanied us on the piano. It was particularly special because the three of us also sang for Girls' Trio in Academic Track when we were in eighth grade. (Academic Track is like the Olympics for nerds, consisting of music, art, and and testing categories.) It was such a fitting end to our high school careers, almost mirroring where we were four years earlier. When the song was over, my friend and I bear hugged on the stage for what seemed like an eternity. It was super cheesy and everyone loved only one person hated our performance. Seriously. A kid in our class told me that he liked it, but his mom said that she didn't, and that Leann did a better job. You think?! We were 17 year old girls and Leann Womack is a professional, a woman with a developed voice. Whatever. I'm not bitter. I swear.

"S-T-A-R-I-N-G, I can't stop staring."

When you live in a small town and work with the public, you get to know certain customers very well. I couldn't even begin to count how many people come through where I work on a daily basis. You'd think that they would buy themselves a carton of cigs and save ten bucks and a lot of wasted time, but whatever.

Some customers you build a great rapport with.


"Oh hey Pat! I see you're stoned again. Here's two treats for your dog since he probably has the munchies, too!"

And other customers have the special ability to make you cringe from a mile away. One particular customer skeeves me out more than any other, and I do everything humanly possible to get her moving on as quickly as possible. It all started a few weeks ago when I noticed her staring at my boobs. That, in and of itself, wasn't particularly alarming. I have large boobs. Where it started to get creepy, though, is when she started looking rapid fire between the Marges (large and in charge) and my eyes. Did she think that if she looked at my eyes every couple of seconds I wouldn't notice she was copping a glance the rest of the time?

I really hate that word, but I couldn't resist. This is awesome.

After she left, I told my coworker what had happened and we laughed for a while over it. I partially excused it, because, like I said, I have large boobs. Maybe they just caught her off guard, and she couldn't help herself. The next time she came through I made a conscious effort to try to catch her doing it again, and let me tell you, Helen Keller (too soon?) would have caught her. She was doing the same rapid fire thing again, and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted to be like "Take your freaking Basics and get the eff out of here!" but that would be bad for business, I'd probably get fired, and then I'd have absolutely no hope of ever buying another vehicle, or moving out of my parents' basement, for that matter. But I digress. Instead, I put on my best forced smile



and told her to have a great day.

Whenever she comes through, now, I do this weird "lock my arms in front of my boobs so she can't look" thing, but it doesn't matter. So, if you drive a very large teal and white van, smoke Basics, and notice me running away when you approach the drive-thru window, QUIT STARING AT MY BOOBS! You are a Creepy McCreeperson. I think I'll just make my coworkers wait on her from now on.

"Will you ever use common sense? It comes pretty cheap."

A lot of things have been getting under my skin lately. Some might blame it on PMS,


but I like to blame it on the idiocy of others.


One of the main sources of my stress and irritation comes from my place of employment. Not the job itself, (it's fairly stress-free) but with the ignorance of the customers that I am frequently subjected to. When you work closely with the public you realize just how many people are actually lacking in the common sense department. I work at a drive-thru convenience store, where we also make pizzas. There is a display window in the drive-thru where we keep the pizza that we sell by the slice, and where we also keep our orders. Keep in mind that this window, and all of its contents, are clearly visible. On an average day, this is how a transaction might go down...

Me: "Hi."
Customer: "..."
Me: "What can I do for you?"
Customer: "... ...I had a pizza order."
Me: "What was the name on it?"
My Internal Monologue: "There are four pizza boxes in the window! Who do I look like, Miss Cleo?! I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND!"



The following is an actual conversation that I had with an elderly gentleman customer...

Customer: "Give me a case of Busch Light."
Me: "Okay, It's going to be $21.20."
Customer: "How much?"
Me: "$21.20."
Customer: "How much?"
Me, louder: "$21.20."
Customer: "You don't have to raise your voice!"
My Inner Monologue: "Um, clearly I do when I have to tell you THREE FREAKING TIMES what the total is!"

And one more actual conversation, had between a coworker and one "extra special" customer...

Customer, while staring at our display case that houses every type of Arizona we sell: "I'll have an Arizona."
Coworker: "Which kind?"
Customer: "Arizona."
Coworker: "Which kind? We have like 20 different flavors."
Customer: "ARIZONA!"

So as you can see, a lot of the customers that we deal with aren't playing with a full deck. Isolated incidents can be funny, but when it happens every day, several times a day, any hilarity that may have ensued is lost. Maybe this is a lesson from the Lord in appreciating the things that He's blessed me with. I just wish that I could learn it in a way that wasn't so exasperating. *sigh*