Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb. I'm just a sucker with no self esteem."

Two guest posts in my entire life and they occur within weeks of each other?! I think I'm going to just quit this blog and start writing for everyone else. I've pretty much quit this blog anyway. Man alive, I think I've lost my will to (try to) be witty. I've become such a sap lately, I'm afraid to ever write anything because it'll probably end up being a big ball of mush, soaked in tears.

Or maybe I'm just lazy.

Anyway, Alexandra asked me if I'd be willing to write a guest post for her, and if you've never read her blog, DO IT. I swear, I'm not just saying that because she's letting me write for her. She's become one of my best internet friends, and is just one of the most amazing people I've ever known in general.

Look how cute we are!

What are you doing still reading this?! I actually wrote a kind of serious post for her. You don't want to miss this opportunity. Go. Check it out. One day you'll be able to tell people "I knew Stacey when she wasn't masking her true feelings with humor!" and people will be all "That Stacey doesn't exist!" but we'll know the truth.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

"I said a Rasta lion... I ain't lyin'."

As I was sitting on my bed social networking doing something super important, I heard my dad yell for me to come upstairs. I thought "Oh great, what am I in trouble for now??" Yeah, I'm 25 years old and I still get scared that my parents are going to yell at me for things. Deal with it.

So I get to the bottom of the stairs and my dad is already waiting for me at the top, super excited about his latest purchase. He says to me "I got this shirt for your mom, but she hates it. I'm going to keep it, though. I think it's really awesome! Open it up and see how cool it is!!" He then whipped the shirt down the stairs and smacked me right in the face with it. Nice, dad. Nice. -_-

Let me stop here for a second, and say that my dad is (usually) very well dressed. He is a salesman, so he has no shortage of expensive pants, nice button-up shirts, fancy ties, and shiny shoes. What I was preparing to unfold, though, was something I never could have prepared for in a million years.





What was he thinking?! I'm serious. Someone please tell me. Actually, what was the "designer" of this shirt smoking??

Nevermind... I think I can answer that.

I quickly told Bri about the awful events that unfolded, and what she proceeded to do made my night  week  year  life. I laughed so hard that I cried and did that gross, gaggy, bronchitis-sounding cough. If I choked to death, it would have been worth it.

Prepare to (almost) die.

Thank you, Bri. ♥

Click here to see the entire list.

Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral:

I've always said that I want Live and Let Die played at my funeral, complete with pyrotechnics.

Gives me goosebumps every time.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

"I am a visitor here, I am not permanent."

Sarah from Was That Awkward

This is her.
was kind enough to let me write a guest post (or maybe I just bombarded her with an email and she felt obligated to let me), and it is officially up. If you don't know Sarah, get to know her. You won't regret it. Until that point, though, here are some things you should know:
  • Favorite food: Kraft mac and cheese
  • Favorite domestic animal: dog
  • Favorite wild animal: tiger
  • Favorite season: fall (me too!)
  • Underwear preference: boy shorts

See? You want to be her best friend already, don't you?!

Ok, now go read the post and laugh about how awkward I was in high school, and have a revelation that I'm still that awkward and will always be that awkward. Go! Read it! And while you're there, read the rest of her blog. Make sure you put on a pair of Depends before hand, though. You'll need them.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

"I'm winning, and I don't intend on losing again."

Guys! I'm a winner!

The oh-so lovely Lauren from The Blog You're About to Read (Go read it. Right now. You won't be disappointed.) has found it in her big heart to share with me the Versatile Blogger Award, and I'm beyond honored. Every time I hear the word versatile, I'm immediately reminded of Natalie Portman, and who wouldn't want to be associated with such a gifted human being??

Gaahhh... She's SO versatile!

Anyway, in receiving this award

This one.
I am required to 1) Link back to the person who gave it to me.
                         2) Share seven facts about myself.
                         3) Pass it on to several other deserving bloggers.

The facts, in no particular order:

  • I'm Polish. My great grandparents migrated to America from Poland. (Wow, this is really hard to just think of random things about yourself that you deem worth sharing.)
  • I'm obsessed with shoes. Not fancy, girly shoes, but (white) tennis shoes, Converse and Rocket Dogs.
  • I'm also obsessed with female singer/songwriters. 
  • I love pulling pranks on my family members.
  • I could eat chicken and/or eggs every single day and never get sick of them. 
  • I love to drive. I've even considered becoming a trucker. 
  • I don't particularly want children. If God or my husband decide otherwise, so be it, but it's definitely not a goal of mine.

More deserving people/blogs:

Apfelicious Amplifications
All is Fair in Love and War
the Tsaritsa sez
Seeking to Understand (This is my attempt at getting her to blog more. For the love of everything, I hope it works.)

Click here to see the entire list.

Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding:

I'm not the stereotypical girl who's dreamt of her perfect wedding day since the age of 5, and who has every single detail all planned out. But I am a girl. And I have thought about certain things I'd like to have at my wedding, including what music I'd like to have played. I'm also very fickle, though, so just because I want it now doesn't necessarily mean that I'll want it when that day comes.

I heard a song by Sade a while ago, and I immediately thought "This would be the perfect song to have my first dance to as a married couple!" And then I found out that Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra had the same idea. -_-
Regardless, it's a beautiful song. I think I'd like my first dance as a married woman to have some sort of significance to it, though, not just something that I hear and think "Oooh, I liiiike this!" So, I guess I'll just say that this would make a great wedding song for someone else... (Sorry, I tend to talk in figure 8s. (Like talking in circles, but more random.))

Friday, March 4, 2011

"I'll be true Toothbrush, just to you Toothbrush, when we both use the same toothpaste."

I was at a friend's yesterday and while there, a package arrived for her from Colgate. She proceeded to tell me how they keep sending her these classroom kits containing approximately 100 toothbrushes, coupons, tooth brushing booklets, and teaching materials. She is not a teacher, and she never signed up for anything, so she has no idea why they keep sending them. She's even moved 4 or 5 times in the past few years, and Colgate always seems to find her. (Stalkers!) I of course don't know why she gets them either, but I also don't care because I made out with two new toothbrushes!

Because this was a classroom kit, the toothbrushes were child sized, but I'm convinced now that that was the best part. Contrary to what this illustration shows, I have a fairly small head, which means I have a fairly small mouth. A tiny toothbrush just fits in my mouth better and really gets into all of the nooks and crannies (aka cavities) well. My teeth have never felt so clean!

Side note: Have you ever heard of those dentists who purposely mess up your teeth that way you can go back to them and they can "fix" whatever is wrong, making themselves infinitely more money? Yeah, I'm pretty sure my old dentist did that. Ever single visit, the nurse would come into the room with an x-ray showing 5-7 brand new "pinhole sized cavities" that I of course couldn't see, but I didn't argue because I'm not a dentist. I now have a mouth FULL of fillings and two broken teeth, because they don't know how to properly fill a tooth. I'm too poor to go have them fixed/pulled, though, so now I just walk around looking like a giant hillbilly.

Thanks a heap, Caro Family Dentistry!

Click here for the entire list.

Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad:

I'm not one of those people who likes to listen to horribly depressing music when I'm sad so I can curl up in fetal position and cry my eyes out for hours. I don't like to dwell on things when I'm upset. I just like to pretend that nothing happened and go about my business. I know that's not necessarily the most healthy thing to do, but it works for me for now. If I'm sad about something, you're much more likely to find me listening to something happy, or funny, like this

Lately, though, I have re-fallen in love with a song by Shawn McDonald and it ALWAYS makes me feel better about whatever situation I'm in. It helps me to remember to fully rely on God and to let Him handle things. I don't always have to fix things on my own.

Even if you're not a believer, I would highly recommend giving it a listen. Just the song itself is crazy good.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

"Now I'm free, free falling."

A few people have asked me lately how to pronounce "beanditch" and what the meaning is behind it, so I thought I'd take the opportunity and blog about it, killing two birds with one stone.

Firstly, it's pronounced like bean-ditch. Not be-and-itch, as a few people thought. (I'm looking at you, Sara and Whitney.)

Secondly, I'm being REALLY lazy right now, and don't feel like typing this story up, but I love you guys so I guess I will.

Picture it. Michigan. 2003... Some friends and I were on our way home from the mall, and decided to take the back roads for a while. 1) We just really liked doing this, and 2) we once caught a glimpse of really hot guy doing push-ups in his front yard, so we kept driving by trying to see him again. As we were driving, I asked what was growing in the field to the right of us, and when they answered "soy beans," I thought "Soy beans are totally edible! I need out! I need to try one!" Nevermind pesticides. I NEEDED to try a soy bean straight from the source! I was so excited that I took off on a dead run for the field. Apparently, some very tall weeds had recently been mowed down in front of the field, so what looked like flat land was actually weeds covering up a giant ditch. The second I reached the stupid thing, I dropped straight down, and of course my friends erupted in laughter.

Now, I'm all for making a fool of myself to garner a few laughs (just ask my family about my Beyonce - Single Ladies impressions) but this was ridiculous. I could have died broken a leg!  As I collected what was left of my pride and climbed my way out of the ditch, I realized that I had two huge grass stains on my favorite pair of pants. Talk about adding insult to injury.

My friends quickly decided that this little incident needed to live on in infamy, and decided to nickname me beanditch. I now use the name for everything on the internet, because I know it's always available. I got so sick of the Stacey8549303746 usernames. Beanditch is just so much easier.

Click here to see the entire list.

Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy:

I listen to a lot of songs when I'm happy. A lot of songs make me happy. I was listening to my mp3 player on random last night and came across a song that I had forgotten how happy it makes me. It was one of, if not the, big song off of the album, and I became kind of sick of it, so I would always skip over it when it came on. I'm kind of glad that happened, though, because I was able to have that small euphoric moment last night.

I thought I'd throw this one in for the heck of it. Go ahead and judge me. I don't care. I loved this song as an adolescent (nostalgia = happiness), I love it now, and I truly foresee myself always loving it. You should too.